This morning, I watched J again in the morning while getting ready for work (while A* slept in). A* forbid me from picking up J's prescriptions because he does not want to pay the money right now. He also forbid me from paying any more than the minimum due on our (actually, MY, even though the debt is mostly his) credit cards. He established that he will only pay 1/2 of any bills for the next few months (including J's meds), although he will NOT pay for anything this month except rent. In essence, this means that if I want to get J's meds or pay any bills, he will not contribute. I can't afford to pay them out of my paycheck alone, so I cannot do it. I have this exchange over text message, but am not sure how to get a copy to print out.
He also claimed that he has paid more than his share for these things in the past few months, even though he has been taking money OUT of his paycheck for personal spending money (like hundreds of dollars worth), and we earn very close to the same amount. His last paycheck was also only $400 after he took out his pocket money (supposedly for gas and food, although he still charges gas and food on his debit card). I have printed all our bank statements, so he is free to show me his contribution and how it relates to him being DONE PAYING FOR ANYTHING for the rest of the month. I suppose he expects me to pay for any bills, groceries, prescriptions, or otherwise in the meantime.
Also, he attempted to tell me how and when our bills need to be paid (or as far as he is concerned, NOT be paid), because he thinks he's such a financial wizard. He has no clue how our finances need to be budgeted to make sure we can cover all our bills throughout the month, because he has always forced me to take care of them (by refusing to do it himself).
I can't wait to be free from him financially. I told him to open his own bank account and start giving me half of all bill $$ by check, but the credit cards are a larger issue. He needs to get his debts off MY credit cards and into his own name. I suggested refinancing the house to get rid of the credit card debt related to the house--I doubt he will bite. Instead, he will probably get tremendously angry that I have suggested a way to solve his/our debt problem, even though the house (and debt) are also mine now. This is how he usually (read: always) reacts when I try to take steps to resolve our financial problems. He gets very angry when I use our money to pay some of our debt, instead of leaving it in the bank account to piss away on fast food and other unnecessary junk. He is totally in denial about his financial situation and hellbent on dragging me down with him.
Although we will not be married for much longer and his debts will not be mine for much longer, his attitude is going to be my problem forever. Marrying him was ABSOLUTELY HANDS DOWN the worst decision I have ever made in my life.
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